Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 2012

1/13/12

New Hampshire Falls to the Redcoats

Continued From 1/9

  
    Doctor Hunter S Thompson wrote a little narrative entitled "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72" back in, naturally, 1972.  It was written as a series of Rolling Stone articles about the 1972 Presidential campaign and was later assembled as a book.  An outstanding piece of work, this book captured the campaign from the very center of the vortex, and relayed it in an abstract fashion which was equally a fascinating view of the machinations of a Presidential campaign and a snapshot of a time and place from which we are now very far removed (?).

     The 1972 campaign was a dark and fascinating event which pitted a strong grassroots underdog first against his own party establishment and then against the oppressive weight of the Nixon administration.  Nixon was a ravaging monster, whose narcissistic tendencies alone would cause him to destroy anything standing between himself and re-election.  At one point in the narrative, Dr. Thompson uncovers startling evidence that Nixon cut a deal with Democrat power brokers to sell his own party down the river in order to secure the '72 election.  In essence, Nixon agreed to set the stage for Ted Kennedy to capture the Presidency in '76 (and hold it for the next eight years), if the Democrat power brokers would ensure McGovern take a fall in '72.  The Democrats were all for it.  McGovern was a man willing to expose the rats in his own party and completely reshape the Democratic Party during his Presidency.  This obviously frightened the corrupt hacks usually clustered around the center of any political operation.  Apparently, four more years of Nixon was preferable to an honest man at the helm.

     Anyways, this left Dr. Thompson quite stunned.  In an attempt to understand why, the Doctor decided to employ a very unique method:

    

     "The game had already started, but there was no score.  I dumped my ale bottles in the Styrofoam cooler, then opened one and sat down to watch the action and brood on Nixon's treachery.  But first I concentrated on the game for a while.  It is hard to understand how somebody else thinks unless you can get on their wavelength, get in tune with their pattern, their pace, their connections......and since Nixon is a known football addict, I decided to get my head totally in the rhythm of this exhibition game between the Rams and Kansas City before attempting to jump into politics.

     "Very few people understand this kind of logic.  I learned it from a Brazilian scientist back in the Matto Grosso back in 1963.  He called it "Rhythm Logic," in English, because he said I would never be able to pronounce it in the original Jibaro.  I tried it once or twice, but the Jibaro language was too much for me - and it didn't make much difference anyway.  I seemed to have an instinct for Rhythm Logic, because I picked it up very quickly.  But I have never been able to explain, except in terms of music, and typewriters are totally useless when it comes to that kind of translation.

     "In any case, by the end of the first quarter I felt ready.  By means of intense concentration on every detail of the football game, I was able to "derail" my own inner brain waves and re-pattern them temporarily to the inner brain wave rhythms of a serious football fanatic.  The next step, then, was to bring my "borrowed" brain waves into focus on a subject quite different from football - such as presidential politics.

     "In the third and final step, I merely concentrated on a preselected problem involving presidential politics, and attempted to solve it subjectively . . . although the word "subjectively," at this point, had a very different true meaning.  Because I was no longer reasoning in the rhythms of my own inner brain waves, but in the rhythms of a football addict.

     "At this point, it became invariably clear to me that Richard Nixon had in fact sold the Republican Party down the tube in Miami."  -  Hunter S. Thompson 1972

     To be sure, Doctor Thompson's insight is greatly missed right now.  He would be more afraid and disgusted than ever, but, political junkie that he was, would have been sucked right into the "vortex" of the 2012 campaign.  In my amateur attempt to chronicle this event, I have found myself keeping Thompson's book handy at all times.  It is a wonderful source of insight and inspiration, a historical record of a similar event, and a how-to guide for finding the real story at the heart of such a monstrous spectacle.  A question has weighed heavily on my own mind of late, and after re-reading the little gem posted above, I decided to take the Doctor's advice.
     My question is simple.  Why would American voters fall for Mitt Romney?  This soon after the Bush Era, and even sooner after the Bush-inspired Tea Party "uprising," I would think Republicans would be more than willing to stay away from a vanilla Big Money puppet type who is the offspring of another Yankee Big Money puppet politician.  This is a complete recipe for disaster in the general election.
     I wasn't sure what I could do to get in the head of the voting public.  A football game wasn't going to cut it.  I needed to get right to the cerebrum of the average New Hampshire working stiff.  As I was contemplating the matter, a slightly malevolent sigh from my dog Sally reminded me of the fact that she was down to three or four kibbles and maybe two bits.  Knowing that it would be irresponsible of me to leave a hungry Rottweiler home with a couple of well fed toddlers the next day, I realized I was going to have to venture out into the bone chilling January darkness and purchase some dog food.
     And then it hit me like a lightning bolt.  Wal Mart!  What better way to find the common wavelength of the American voter than a late night trip down the aisles of Sam Walton's wonder of the modern world?  It crossed my mind almost instantly that the answer to Obama would be found there, but the Romney blunder was going to take some serious Rhythm Logic.  Focusing my mind on the task, I retrieved a small shopping list from my wife, threw on my winter coat, and prepared myself for the numbing first five minutes spent in a subarctic front seat waiting for the thermostat to open and bring relief from the unbearable chill.

     This was one of those nights which cause a person to seriously question the sanity of living in the upper Great Plains.  A biting north wind was gusting at up to 50 miles per hour, scooting tiny particles of dry snow sideways across the icy blacktop in intermittent bursts.  As I pulled into the Walmart parking lot, I was suddenly aware of the heavy handed presence of the Man.  Three Omaha police cruisers and two Nebraska State Patrol vehicles were briskly wrapping up some business in the abnormally empty parking lot.  I don't know exactly what happened, but I was in quite a hurry to get inside, and they were in quite a hurry to get to the warmth of the Quick Trip coffee machine around the corner, so we crossed paths without even a glance.
     Now, Walmart in the middle of the night, even on a bitterly cold night when only those who REALLY need something, are that bored, or are hopelessly intoxicated venture in, is a bustling place with a rhythm all it's own.  There are usually only one or two registers open, and they generally
possess an anxious line of people, six carts deep, wistfully looking back and forth between the multitude of late night Walmart employees on break and the long dim row of closed cash registers.  Before I even passed the restrooms (closed for cleaning - please use the facilities at the back of the store), I was fully conscious of how and why Barack Obama had been elected.

 Barack Obama, future U.S. President

     Among the first images transmitted to my brain upon entering the store and gravitating quickly towards the warm interior was a display of low cost beauty products.  In between lowbrow romance flicks on Blu Ray, huge tubs of cheese balls, and stacks of Chinese junk, these beauty products were packaged with the inference that you could become a supermodel or an anchorman for just $9.99.  Moving past the registers, which only three years ago were plastered with images of Barack Obama and his charming wife Michelle*, I worked my way past shelf upon shelf of energy boosters, vitamins, and weight loss supplements, past the Valentine's Day display (I'm not sure, but I think I saw Easter Baskets and marshmallow eggs around the corner), and right into the aisles of Christmas discount merchandise.
     Selling Barack Obama to the average American was not difficult.  Easily starstruck, a good media campaign and a few vague promises of "hope and change" were enough to send the mainstream public into an orgiastic voting frenzy.  Too many people expect something for nothing (demand it, in fact), consider photogenic quality and arrogant mouthiness the necessary traits of leadership, and, trusting suggestive propaganda, are easily herded in whatever direction the handful of corporations which owns every U.S. media outlet decides to send them.
     As I found this train of reasoning interrupted by the outrageous price of dog food (pre tax), I decided that I was being a little unfair.  There were other reasons for the Great Obama Wave of '08.  Eight years of Bush was probably the most notable.  Bush had always had a knack for inflaming the passions of nearly half of America's eligible voters.  Unfortunately for him, this was the half that hated him.  His supporters really never had much of a choice, and only supported him because he was not a Democrat.  Like Mitt Romney today, you would be hard pressed to find an actual Bush crusader anywhere, only a bunch of "better than" apologists.
      I was too young to remember Nixon, so I can honestly say that no political figure in my lifetime has stirred up such intense hatred from the opposition as George W. Bush.  Not Clinton, not Reagan, maybe Obama...........but GW really takes the cake.  At first it seemed merely partisan.  Any Republican could expect to be slighted by NPR, attacked by Saturday Night Live, and heckled by MSNBC.  Comedy Central sitcoms were something quite new however, and a good indicator that Bush was not in for an easy ride.  While September 11th slowed his critics and boosted his ratings temporarily, this boost was extremely short and quickly began to backlash.  Conservatives and Liberals alike began to question the heavy handed government response to 9/11 (after they voted FOR all these measures, of course), and the invasion of Iraq brought a massive series of nationwide protests and attacks on Bush were renewed more vigorously than ever.
     After he somehow defeated fellow Skull and Bonesman John Kerry to gain re-election, his Presidency completely degenerated to the level of an old fashioned robber baron.  Like a Mafia protection outfit or a Mitt Romney investment group, he began the wholesale and unabashedly visible liquidation of everything that generations of Americans had worked so hard to build.  Our country was flooded with illegal immigrants, our money was being sucked off to Saudi Arabia, China, and the foreign bank accounts of a large junta of thieves, swindlers, and other traitorous swine, and we were dumping trillions of dollars into questionable military adventures with no credible raison d'etre.  A large housing crisis was looming on the horizon, we were not even attempting to access the nearly 90% of our natural resources which sit in the ground untouched, the Constitution was being ripped to pieces, and our government was running up a credit card bill so high that it can't be displayed on a standard calculator!

     The final and possibly most devastating straw came on a cold dark evening near the very end of the Bush era.  A cast of characters which play enemies on TV and rarely seem to be able to accomplish anything together and in a hurry accomplished something in complete unity and in a very big hurry.  Barack Obama and John McCain dropped everything they were doing (badmouthing each other to get your vote) and rushed to Washington.  There they were joined by Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, G.W. Bush, and a rogues gallery of other American traitors to give a very large sum of your money to their masters.  This is how the Bush era ended.  Bigger government than Stalin could have ever dreamed of, higher debt than any nation had ever run up, a complete transformation of American law, and the ever more apparent question of which party was which.  By that point, even the most feeble minded Republican was beginning to seriously question what the Hell was going on and how the Hell were we going to fix it.  Unfortunately, the best answer they could come up with was John McCain.
     Obviously the Democrats were able to step right in and take advantage of the situation.  All it took was a man with a celebrity aura and a few vague promises and America ate it up.  It's amazing what a little fear and loathing can do to a person's outlook.  Many assumed, wrongly, that "hope" and "change" meant something a bit more technical.  They thought that this would mean an end to the "blood for oil", a restoration of our civil liberties, and a more restrained fiscal policy that would stave off the coming Depression.  Democrats have a historically poor track record on these issues, but Americans have a historically short memory, so Obama had no problem finding support and praise for his imaginary agenda.  He was elected by an overwhelming landslide, yet Americans knew nothing about him!  We knew he used to smoke crack, but we knew nothing about his education because all the records were sealed.  We knew he liked to run around with some very shady characters (and more than a few intelligence hacks), but we didn't even have proof that he was a U.S. citizen.  This man is the most shadowy, artificial figure in U.S. history, yet he was unquestioningly and overwhelmingly accepted as the President of a very troubled and dysfunctional nation.  Given the normal shadowy and artificial nature of corrupt politicians, this most extreme case was a blatant recipe for disaster.
     Milling over the fact that not all Americans were shallow and starstruck, but rather just a little too trusting of snake oil salesmen, I realized I had stalled out in the Sporting Goods department, where my cart had taken me while I was lost in thought.  "This will never do," I thought.  In order to really find the answer to my question, I had to follow the Doctor's prescription for Rhythm Logic to the letter.  Idly contemplating the Obama phenomenon would not cut it.  I had to get into some serious Walmart shopping and really feel the pain and pleasure of the American consumer!  As I was a little too nervous to see what fishing line and hooks were going to run me this year, I decided to head on over to the grocery section and put a dent in my wife's list.  It was going to take the entire list before I was completely in tune with the Walmart rhythm, and I could not afford to waste any more telekinetic energy on the likes of Barack Obama.
     Ignoring the malevolent stare from an obviously disgruntled night stocker, I worked my way around a stack of boxes laying on their side and headed down the less stifling main aisle past the electronics and shoes until I found myself surrounded by upright freezers and several more disgruntled (and cold) night stockers.  Painfully checking prices and filling my cart, I became intently focused on the business of shopping.  There is a certain protocol that must be followed when shopping Walmart in the witching hours.  Surly stockers, random pallets, intoxicated shoppers, and miscellaneous boxes must be navigated with great care, and proper right of way procedures must be followed.  "Don't give ground to these swine!", the Doctor might have said, although sometimes you must be a bit diplomatic or you will find yourself walking deep into the middle of aisles without your cart in order to retrieve essentials.

     Entering the meat aisle, I was sure of one thing.  The overwhelming security apparatus, the cops out front, the extremely high price of macaroni and cheese, and the idea of being in the belly of what many see as a predatory monopoly and agent of the Red Chinese made me wonder why anybody wouldn't strongly consider Ron Paul.  But that's not why I was here.  I still couldn't unlock the riddle of Mitt.  In a country where few know or care about our nation's history, and spend no time contemplating what it means, there is little reflective political thought running through the general population.  Politics for many is an obstacle to be listlessly endured between weather and sports.  Rules of self-governance and personal liberty are naively assumed to be safeguarded merely by their own existence.

     Those who do care about politics either are simple Bush or Obama rejectionists who put little thought into the matter beyond their menial dislikes, or are of the more knowledgeable and philosophical class which generally makes up the core of the two modern political parties.  These people often surround themselves with politics, which causes them to be unfortunately bombarded with propaganda.  The idea of the propagandists is to quickly herd these people into a box with the bait being intelligent and sometimes reasonable political views.  Once in the box, the walls are closed with inferences which do not necessarily reflect reality.  Those that become slowly trapped in these boxes (which seem very real and righteous) are also taught to immediately attack, hate, and, most importantly, fear any viewpoint which disrupts the reality of the walls of the box.  This creates a society in which little good is accomplished because the people in the boxes possess strong fear and loathing for anything foreign to their box.

     We all know politicians are crooks.  You would be hard pressed to find anyone willing to seriously argue this point.  However, we do not acknowledge this in the light of day.  These opinions are welcomed from late night comedians or truck stop bumper stickers, but we find ourselves passionately attaching ourselves to these crooks and not only defending them but extolling their virtues!  We have followed this insanity to such a distance that we find ourselves in a world where we feel as if we've won or lost merely by whether our champion has an "R" or a "D" in front of their name.  It doesn't matter what they do, only what they say and how much the other side hates them.  In this brave new century, however, two things have occurred which have begun to open the eyes of the masses.  George W. Bush and Barack Hussein Obama.  The end of the Bush Era ushered in a massive uprising in the Republican Party.  The Tea Party flared up, demanding the Republican establishment represent the common man and the ideals of the Revolution.  It seemed that enough people had seen through Bush and finally were demanding real change.  So why would throngs of people show up on Election Day to cast ballots for Mitt?  (Personally, I wrongly assumed that the familiarity of the people of New Hampshire with Mitt Romney would have worked against him!)
      Still standing in the meat aisle, no closer to enlightenment than I had been by the dog food, I noticed a man strolling by with a brand new Sony flat screen in his cart.  I looked around and saw three kids scurrying towards the register with a 12 pack, trying to avoid the 1 AM liquor cut off.  Then I noticed the young couple next to me, sleeping baby bundled up in the car seat, checking over their shopping list and comparing prices of various cuts of chicken.  They were obviously in need of every penny they had, and then some, but they were still performing the necessary business of shopping with the cheerful enthusiasm that humans display.  These people probably spent a lot of time thinking about inflation (whether they identified it as such or not), but most likely didn't give a rat's ass about the Republican primary.  There was little money in the bank accounts of these people I was seeing on this bitter night at Walmart, and the future looked very dim indeed, but these people, like me, were going about their business, somehow surviving, and still enjoying life.

Young Willard Mitt Romney, safely in France, protesting in favor of the Vietnam War draft

     And then it became clear.  People don't know that the modern United States of America is but a house of cards waiting to fall, and refuse to admit to themselves that there may be a problem.  They know times are hard, but they will not allow themselves to conceive of a future in which the prosperity of old is not restored.  They don't really understand why things are so bad, they don't really understand how to change it, and they continue to hold to tradition and blind optimism.  Hopefully this works, and they are right, but this idea is restraining many Americans from seeing clearly the path towards reformation and recovery.  It is preventing them from taking the necessary steps of preserving the American Dream.
     And so I understood at last how a desperate Republican electorate, turned off and fired up by eight years of Bush and steaming mad from three years of Obama, could repeat their mistakes of the past and elect a candidate exactly the same as the one who had caused much of their troubles in the first place.  They don't want to admit to themselves that we are in such desperate shape, but remain in the comfortable mental state where an "R" can save us from the "D"'s and bring back the prosperity of days past.  They are easily attracted to a slick political stereotype, as he is in their comfort zone and is acknowledged in mainstream soundbites as a clear front runner.  The shallow mantra of "anybody but Obama" is easily converted into votes for the guy with the mainstream endorsements and the money to run a big campaign.  The problem is, the Republican Party was too tainted by Bush in the eyes of mainstream America for a guy like Romney to come along and unseat the Obama/Clinton machine.
     Walking out of the store contemplating the $150 bill for what would have been $60 worth of groceries when G.W. Bush first took office, I hoped I was wrong.  I hoped that New Hampshire was an anomaly and that the rest of America would still wake up and resist what seems to be our fate.  On the way out the door I passed a trio of college kids huddled around the Red Box holding an animated discussion about whether to rent "Cowboys and Aliens" or "Apollo 18."  With a sigh, I zipped up my coat and trudged dejectedly back out to the frozen tundra and a cold ride home.

     As the Ron Paul supporters made a proud but dejected retreat from the state of New Hampshire, votes for Mitt Romney were still piling in.  Second place was good for the campaign and a sign of hope that the followers of other candidates were not blessed with that night, but the overwhelming majority of votes for Romney was downright depressing.  As many of the Ron Paul supporters who had been campaigning furiously in New Hampshire probably felt a kinship with Paul Revere, furiously galloping through the old colony bearing the message of freedom and a call to arms to the inhabitants of the "Live Free or Die" state, a loss of this magnitude felt like a desperate failure.  Many of the Ron Paul voters probably imagined themselves as fed up colonists, firing a musket ball at the King's armies while hiding in bushes and wearing tri-corner hats.

     There was a dark point in the middle of our great Revolution at which everything seemed hopeless.  Many parts of the Northern colonies were under British control, only a small percentage of the colonists were actively supporting the Rebels while an equal percentage at least - especially those with money and influence - were in open support of the Crown.  The Colonial Army was tattered, worn out, undersupplied, outmanned, and in a terribly poor state of health and morale.  The ragtag government in Virginia was of little assistance, overseas negotiations with France were going nowhere, and the support and faith of the sympathetic colonists was quickly decreasing.  It's never good to be on the side of the loser, particuliarly when the winner is going to be in a foul mood afterwards.
     While the Revolution in the North was hanging on solely by the iron will of George Washington, the military genius of his officers, and the stubborn guerilla resistance of the working class inhabitants of the New World, the fate of everything rested on a small band of Patriots lurking in the swamps of South Carolina.  If the aggressive British campaign in the South was successful, the North would be completely cut off militarily and economically, and would have little chance of surviving.  It was on this stage that the dramatic tide which eventually swept back North and gave birth to the greatest nation ever created was begun.

Francis Marion, the "Swamp Fox" of South Carolina

     Francis Marion, a Southern planter known as the "Swamp Fox" led a group of courageous patriots in a David vs. Goliath scenario against the large and expensive British campaign to recapture the Southern colonies.  Operating from a secret island deep in the swamps, these brave patriots waged such a successful guerilla campaign that the British were eventually thoroughly routed from the Deep South.  By this time, Washington had regrouped, Congress and Benjamin Franklin had recruited the French navy, and the British had been drastically wounded by their unsuccessful South Carolina experience.  We today have these South Carolina freedom fighters to thank for standing up and defending freedom at a point when everything hung in the balance.
      On the reluctant march out of New Hampshire, the Ron Paul supporters could probably hear the faint clacking of spectral Redcoat boots marching on cobblestones and, off in the distance, see the Union Jack being raised over the Manchester Courthouse.  A lost battle to be sure, but hope for a sustained campaign was suddenly renewed.  Lifting their heads high, they headed off towards South Carolina, fabled birthing ground of Party Nominees and home of the saviors of our Revolution, with the bright flame of liberty burning in their eyes and a renewed appetite for battle with the oppressive agents of the Crown.

    
 To Be Continued...............  Wrapping Up New Hampshire, Huntsman Bites It, Gingrich Declares "Armageddon"       


*From celebrity magazines to "news" journals, Good Housekeeping to the National Enquirer, images and headlines proclaiming the Messiah, his implied promises, and his Nobel Peace Prize, were omnipresent and extremely dishonest.  You can fool all of the people most of the time - or however that saying goes - but you can't hold their attention for very long.  Barack Obama has since dropped from the foreground, and Angelina Jolie has returned to her rightful place in the direct line of sight of Walmart shoppers.  



Michelle Obama

     



Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 2012 1/9/12

Continued From January 4

Hawkeye Wrap Up........Huntsman Sets his Trap.........Paul Fires First........Saturday Night Live........Mitt's Bane

     As the Iowa Caucus results were just being delivered with the Wednesday morning newspaper, the entire media circus had already packed up and left, mostly for New Hampshire, leaving the suddenly quiet and slightly bewildered state of Iowa behind.  They seem to have left several key elements of the story behind as well.  We know that Mitt Romney officially won, although it is alleged that he didn't.  As Rick Santorum refuses to contest the official vote tally, Romney's eight vote escape will officially enter the books for posterity.  With rumours swirling through the now empty January cornfields of lights going out during the counts, late arriving armies of unregistered voters, and a little hanky panky at the last minute to give Romney the official victory, it is hardly surprising that Santorum would prefer to leave well enough alone and get to the warm sunny cotton fields where his new found popularity and familiar message might appeal to his Baptist cousins.
     So, what's the score?  Who really won?  What does it all mean?  The answers to these questions may be a bit surprising.  They will also be a little disconcerting to some, and probably met with smug relief by more than a few others.  There are apparently somewhere around 2,250,423 eligible voters in the state of Iowa.  This Republican Presidential cycle has undoubtedly been the most hyped, most analyzed, and most expensive pre-caucus campaign by either party in the history of U.S. Party politics.  Throngs of sleazy journalists and their even more loathsome subject matter - politicians - have been canvassing the state of Iowa since about the time the Missouri River topped it's banks last Spring.  If you lived in Iowa you had to chase Ron Paul supporters off your property with a shotgun before disposing of the wire signs left behind in your grass.  If you tried to catch an Iowa State football game at the local tavern, you ran the risk of Rick Santorum tugging at your shoulder and extolling the virtues of a Federal Masturbation Ban during a crucial fourth quarter drive.  You couldn't turn on a radio or television without hearing Rick Perry's "Washington Outsider" speech, or drive down the street without running over a CNN power cable.  Again, this was supposed to be a BIG DEAL - "the eyes of America and the World are on the humble state of Iowa this evening...." and so on and so forth.
     Of the 2,250,423 eligible voters in the state of Iowa, 147,255, or 6.54% actually showed up to vote, and 25,000 or 17% of them voted for Barack Obama!  (Approximately 1.5% of them or around 375 voted "other Democrat").  This low turnout produced essentially a 3-way Republican split, and some uncertainty over who will get Iowa's delegates when it's all said and done.  While Romney has the brutally efficient combination of establishment money, the best campaign managers establishment money can buy (not already on Clinton retainer), and the full technical support of the Republican Party, his campaign's oversight and haughtiness may have just cost him a bit when the Iowa votes are finalized much later his year.  By that time it may not matter.
     Santorum may have also been caught napping at the end of the day in Iowa.  He seems to be the type not to overlook technical details, but the sudden surge in his support probably caught him as unawares as the rest of us.  Ron Paul, on the other hand, possesses some very savvy campaign strategists, hordes of volunteers who would lay down their lives for him, and the experience you would expect from a 76 year old Texas politician.  His campaign appears to have ensured that a well instructed delegate was left at every caucus site be named as a delegate to the County Conventions in March, which will elect delegates for the Congressional District Conventions in April which will prep candidates for the Iowa Republican Convention in June.  Quite a long procedure considering Iowa's 28 (3 of those are unpledged Party officials) delegates don't really go very far, particularly when split up among six candidates.
     The most realistic prediction is this:  by the time of the Congressional District Convention, Santorum, Gingrich, and Perry are gone.  As it stands now, they hold 6, 4, and 3 respectively.  Romney and Paul probably hold six of each as well, and these other 13 could go either way.  Most likely they will side with the winner, but they could be Ron Paul supporters in disguise, and will cast for him either way.  What this says is that wins in Iowa (and New Hampshire) are really only meaningful as they pertain to recognition and fundraising.  The unpredictable winner-take-all-state of South Carolina, and the crown jewel of January -Florida (full of retirees who would feel very comfortable with a suspected Socialist like Mitt Romney in charge)- will play a much more concrete role in not only cementing a front runner but laying a foundation for victory.
     One last, and definitely not least most important thing we learned from Iowa, is that the omnipresent Obama machine is hovering nearby, poised to strike and systematically destroy whoever the Republicans offer up as a sacrificial nominee.  With rumours of Hillary Clinton replacing Biden as Obama's running mate, I'm not sure George Washington himself could decisively beat Obama today.  Attack ads are a hell of a thing, to be sure. A billion dollars worth of attack ads, in this society......Romney has temper tantrums over simple allegations leveled by the amiable Rick Perry.  Imagine how he will crack when Hillary Clinton has her way with him.
     Obama, in the more Soviet style Iowa Democrat Caucus (Obama _ Other _), received nearly as many votes as any one of the three top vote getters in the Republican Caucus.  There was no real reason for Obama voters to even turn out, aside from maybe a bit of Hawkeye pride at being part of this grand tradition.  This shows that of the growing percentage of Americans disgusted with Obama or politicians in general, many reserve even more distaste for the Republican Party in particular.  While probably still the lingering side effects of being Bushwhacked, these feelings show that mainstream Americans do not trust the Republican Party to step in and fix the ever growing list of problems facing our once proud nation today.  The conditions are truly ripe for even a terribly unpopular incumbent to maintain his stranglehold on the executive office for four more years.

     Jon Huntsman, the former Utah governor who more than slightly resembles a Simpsons caricature, as everyone knows made the decision to snub the Iowa Caucuses and focus exclusively on the New Hampshire primary.  Jon, better known as Jon Huntsman Jr., is, naturally, the son of Jon Huntsman Sr.  Jon Huntsman Sr. was born in Blackfoot, Idaho, on the summer solstice of 1937.  Go figure.  After graduating several college programs with high honors, he spent two years in the military from 1959-1961.  Later in the sixties, he turned up in the Los Angeles business community, with an egg production company.  He later teamed this company up with a division of Dow Corning (a company extremely intertwined in Eisenhower's "military industrial complex" and which curiously built and runs the town of Lake Jackson, Texas - famous these days as Ron Paul's home base and the source of the pesky "newsletters) and became the President.  After inventing the plastic hinged container for the Big Mac, he eventually founded Huntsman Chemical and was on his way towards becoming one of the wealthiest men in the world.  While being heavily involved in the Mormon Church, the Republican Establishment, the "military industrial complex", and a whole host of other prestigious entanglements, one of his more recent associations stands out as very interesting in the context of today's events.  In 2007, he founded Huntsman Gay Global Capital, teaming up with one of Mitt Romney's former raiding partners.  (in 2001, 2 years after Romney's departure,  Bain invested $600,000,000 in Huntsman, Inc.).  What is the point of all this?  Absolutely nothing.  This guy's son is running for President and he has been quietly Santoruming his way around New Hampshire for the past several months while everyone else was in Iowa.

     Huntsman may not have much of a chance.  The little publicized, unexciting, former ambassador to China may surprise everyone with a strong showing on Tuesday.  Another possibility is that months of carefully built support may have been immediately steamrolled by the stampede of politicians, pundits, and observers fresh in from Iowa.  One thing is for certain, while he probably has the backing and connections to go as far as he wants, he doesn't have the public's attention or the "ground game" to run with the big dogs.  Not in this cycle, anyways.  Maybe not in any cycle.  If he somehow pulls off a miracle and wins New Hampshire, it will bring a collective sigh of relief for all the other candidates not named Romney.  The race will still be wide open, and Romney will begin to look like an outcast from his own party.  This is probably nothing more than idle chatter.  If Huntsman comes in a weak third in New Hampshire, his days will be very numbered from here on out.  Maybe something like one.

     As the world woke up trying to make sense of the Iowa proceedings on Wednesday morning, they found Ron Paul right in their face and loaded for bear.  Taking the odd strategy of attacking Gingrich and Santorum while letting them throw their combined weight at Romney, he seems to be trying to cement himself as Romney's alternative before taking on Romney himself.  Possibly a bit surprised to be in contention, his campaign goals may have not yet broadened beyond delegates and platforms.  He has exposed himself, however, as a masterful politician, a revelation a bit disturbing when one contemplates the dastardly deeds of other master politicians.  The night of the Caucuses, he made a very clear, powerful, and well received speech at the perfect time of the night.  His speech was first, about halfway through the ten o'clock news, and carried in full on every major news network.  He then fired a shot at Newt Gingrich the next morning which probably resonated very well in South Carolina before sitting down to a rather long and favorable CNN interview to be played later in the afternoon.
     During my formative introduction to life as a political junkie in the early eighties, I was introduced to a world where abortion was the key litmus test (causing politicians to change platforms and even parties on a regular basis to stay in tune with the narrow but constantly shifting opinion gap on this issue), Vietnam draft dodging was one of the worst accusations that could be leveled at an opponent, the name of Ronald Reagan was a highly charged curse or blessing, and shadowy agents of Satan lurked in every dark alleyway, waiting to either ritually murder children or purchase pornography at the corner Seven Eleven.  After Santorum's victory in Iowa, waking up on Wednesday to Paul's attack on Gingrich, and then seeing Gingrich and Perry throw out the hallowed name of Reagan at every opportunity, I felt as if I had traveled a quarter century back to a time when my only real concern was the prospect of being turned to glass at the whim of a Soviet bureaucrat.  The infinitely more dangerous menace of an Iranian dromedary brigade armed with a hydrogen bomb and possibly a manual detonator was still many years in the future.
     What Paul did was simple, and quite brilliant.  With the youth and independent energy of Americans who might give Conservative change a chance already in his back pocket, he decided to reach out to older Republican voters with an appeal to one of their most revered ideals.  He singled out Newt Gingrich as the candidate to attack on the war issue.  He established that Newt (and others) are very eager to start wars which may be unnecessary.  He then promoted his insane belief that war should be entered into legally and only as a last resort.  Following this, he very quickly contrasted the fact that Newt received a deferment while he, Ron Paul, served as a flight surgeon.  In masterful style, he quickly built up some emotion and derisively referred to Newt as a "Chicken Hawk".   This brilliantly simple retro sound bite was paired with a successful CNN interview later Wednesday afternoon, after which Paul retired to prepare for his all out assault on New Hampshire beginning on Friday.

     While Paul was gearing up for a potentially make-or-break scenario at the debates on Saturday, Santorum, Gingrich, Perry, and Romney were already crowding Huntsman on the campaign beat.  Santorum failed to dazzle (the highlight being when some amateur reporters asked him if he'd ever googled himself), Gingrich held a steady sideshow status, and Perry was very unremarkable.  Romney continued to make the hollow, empty speeches that corporate puppets with establishment backing are known for.  He also made a few errors.  In a rather innocent statement aimed at Conservative small business owners, Romney praised the right to "fire" anyone he pleases.  As the vast majority of American voters are coming to the harsh realization that they don't own much of anything at all, such a comment when reduced to a sound bite may prove hazardous to Romney's "better than" status among the slight majority of Republican voters.

       As our heroes took the stage for the debates on Saturday night, to be followed by a debate on Sunday morning, many were curious as to who would win the New Orleans - Detroit NFC Wild Card game.  Unfortunately the only people who really watch these debates are political junkies like myself, and we rarely watch a debate without having already selected a favorite.  We then proceed to cheer for our candidate as if he were a football team, while hating the other debaters and booing the moderators as if they were intentionally spotting the ball well short of the first down marker.  I can only hope, for America's sake, that the people of New Hampshire not only viewed these debates, but viewed them with an open mind and an honest desire to choose the best candidate for America.
     Mitt Romney was obviously touted as the "winner" by establishment media hacks following both debates.  This follows a pattern we have seen throughout these debates and is hardly a surprise anymore.  The reality this time is merely that Romney wasn't a "loser".  While attacked by Gingrich as promised, he merely seemed to shrug off Gingrich's assaults leaving the debauched former Speaker of the House obviously frustrated.  Santorum and Huntsman also tried to assault Romney, but Romney's hollow words quickly diffused much of their energy.  In the meantime, Rick Perry took the opportunity to add his own highlight to the debate.  Beaming like a three year old boy who had just successfully used a toilet for the first time, he properly recited the three Departments of Government which would be eliminated by the Rick Perry administration.  (After the debates, Perry, Santorum, and Gingrich immediately departed for South Carolina, forsaking the granite bedrock of Yankee politics for the more welcoming Baptist bedroom communities of the old Confederacy).
     As stated earlier, the politician hidden inside Ron Paul began to reveal itself this week.  After the Ron Paul circus hit New Hampshire Friday like a Texas gully washer, he went on to have a most memorable appearance in the Saturday Night debates.  When presented with his "Chicken Hawk" quote in regards to Gingrich, he used the opportunity to go right for Newt's throat.  He again slammed the war hawk policy of his competitors, while clearly and tactfully outlining his policy of moderation and strength through trade and diplomacy.  He also, naturally, pointed out that Newt was a "draft dodger".  After successfully putting Santorum on the defense at the start of the debate, he now had Newt flustered as well.  As the enthralled audience looked on, Newt tried to explain that he had a child and was not eligible for service.  With the natural timing and calculated bravado possessed only by the finest Roman Gladiators, Paul replied "I had two children.  When I was called I went."  Drowned out by the most deafening applause of the debate, Newt meekly stated "I wasn't eligible, I wasn't eligible....."  Realizing that he had just been outmaneuvered by a craftier old campaigner than even the former Speaker himself, it wasn't hard to imagine Newt, for the first time in this campaign, choking back real tears. 
    
     At the end of the Saturday night debates, the candidates were asked what they would be doing if they were not campaigning.  Santorum, trying to appeal to the average American, said that he would be watching the championship basketball game.  Reminded that he meant football, he said "I mean football".  Romney also said he would be watching the championship football game.  This is a perfect example of how out of touch these guys are, and how they will say anything to try to appeal to their listeners.  The BCS Championship game which Romney referred to wasn't until Monday night.  Romney had no idea when it was, what it was, or who was playing.  Santorum, depending on how the next three weeks plays out, will probably be home to watch the National Championship basketball game.
     Ron Paul's answer was decidedly different, and exactly what you wanted to hear from a President.  He said he would get everyone to bed and probably sit up and read an economic textbook.  He was probably telling the truth.  Contemplating the return to $3.50 gas and $5 pork chops, I can only hope Barack Obama is managing to squeeze in a few Economics textbooks between his midnight czar appointments and Halloween celebrity soirees. 

     After the debates were over, Ron Paul was acknowledged by more in the mainstream media as the "alternative" to Mitt Romney.  As Santorum, Gingrich, and Perry vacated while the getting was good, Paul and Huntsman seem to be left standing alone against Romney as the Nation's first primary gets underway.  The polls seem to have Paul firmly in second place, but the large amount of undecided voters will definitely twist the outcome in an unpredictable fashion as was the case in Iowa.  If Huntsman defeats Paul, it will be a major blow to the Paul campaign, and will probably help propel Romney to an early finish line.  If Huntsman defeats Romney, it will open up the gates a little for everybody, and probably give us an extended version of this immensely entertaining political spectacle.  A close second place or unlikely first place finish by Paul will probably tag Paul as the front runner against Romney, signalling a short campaign for all the others - particularly Perry and Huntsman.
     On Monday before the primaries, not-exactly-new-but-potentially-devastating revelations about Mitt's role in the Bain investment group began to hit the press.  This may not affect the New Hampshire race, but may play a key role in South Carolina, and even into Florida.  For now, Mitt is the heavy favorite, with the machine, the money, and the full support of the Establishment.  He will happily control the dialogue of the campaign right up to the moment when he takes a November fall to Obama.  Paul is the quintessential underdog.  The grass roots, pay-as-you-go populist who, only in America, still has a chance to upset a big-money champion.  Does America truly love the underdog, or is America more comfortable under establishment control?  Do we really want to see Boise State or Hawaii bust the BCS, or are we more comfortable watching Alabama and Texas play for the prize?  We will see.
    
     A vote for Ron Paul is a bit like getting in your grandfather's '64 Chrysler for an after church drive in the country.  While lounging in the cavernous dull pastels of the back seat, you sit back and contemplate the beautiful American scenery while Eisenhower's great feat of modern engineering rolls by underneath the tires.  Hands at ten and two on the wheel, Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians softly crackling from the AM dashboard speaker, and seat belt fully locked in place, Grandpa heads steadily towards his destination at approximately three miles under the speed limit.  With the old V8 purring along (begging for a little gasoline and a chance to leave a black mark on the fresh pavement) you can almost see a faint gleam rising from behind a distant hilltop on the western edge of a landscape shadowed by dark clouds and the crumbling remains of an antiquated superpower.  This gleam is the ever elusive American Dream.  It may not be exciting, it may not be fun, in fact it may be the most downright boring trip you've ever been on, but you know you can count on Grandpa to get you there in one piece - if anyone can.
     A vote for Mitt Romney is a different story.  A vote for Mitt Romney is like piling in the back of an Escalade with a bunch of well dressed men you don't really know under the pretense of attending some glamorous back-to-the-Eighties New Year's Eve gala.  While the company may seem distinguished and the party may sound like the best way to spend the evening, you cannot shake the feeling that at any point you might receive a .38 to the temple and be left in a drainage ditch on the outskirts of town.

To Be Continued.................
          
 
    





Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 2012

JANUARY 4, 2012

FORWARD

     It was difficult to allow myself to steal the good Doctor's favorite title, but nothing more aptly describes the situation we have now found ourselves in.  As he saw the writing on the wall and took his exit from a world increasingly shadowed by a darkness more stifling and deadly than even the one which enshrouded the dark days of 1972, I feel that he would not really mind my borrowing of it, provided I put it to good use.  If this is possible, I promise I will.

     I will also try and stick to the Doctor's general rules.  Get the story, highlight the important tidbits overlooked by others, and keep the campaign rather than any one candidate the focus.  I will, of course, take the Doctor's lead and give a little preference to the grass roots underdog, providing he remains in the right and remains in the campaign.

     Unlike the Doctor, my life is way too boring for conventional Gonzo journalism.  Where the Doctor was flying around the nation with press access and insider correspondence, I am working a less than glamorous job and dealing with three delinquent children ages 2, 4, and 6.  However, with the modern applications of the Internet and social media, information and images are flying around at a rate that would have frightened even the most hardened political junkie back in 1972.  In a sense, we have all gone a little Gonzo, although none of us have the touch of the Master.

     As I'm sure we are all acquainted with the main cast of characters, let's get right to the heart  of this thing!

HAWKEYES RUN LEFT...... PAUL ROCKS THE VOTE..... PERRY WATERS HIS HORSE..... BACHMANN SURRENDERS...... GINGRICH SHARPENS HIS TALONS...... OFF TO NEW HAMPSHIRE!

     Having spent approximately thirty three years of my life within a twenty minute drive of Council Bluffs, Iowa, I have a bit of an understanding of  the workings of the Iowa political process.  When the pundits vaguely speak of "organization" and "ground game", they are referring to a very intricate and most American process of backroom deals with preachers, union leaders, small town politicians, and practically any other Iowans of influence within their respective communities.  Apparently, the guy with the goofy grin wandering the countryside for the past five years with nothing but a Hawkeyes jacket and a feel for the desperation of back country Iowa Protestants was the undisputed master of this process.

     With his vows to criminalize abortion and prohibit Constitutionalists from imposing "man on dog" sex on the unsuspecting masses, Rick Santorum was able to ease the minds of the entire Bible Belt with a lot of leg work, a very low profile, and a well timed propaganda barrage by the national media.  There is more than one precedent for this, most recently the guitar strumming FOX fun host Mike Huckabee, but the rise from around 5% to first place status in a matter of three weeks was, along with the 8 vote separation from Mitt Romney, ultimately the biggest story of the 6 month battle for Iowa.

     While Rick Santorum took the Bible Belt with old fashioned foot work and a little help from above, Mitt Romney muscled his votes with all the precision of a sledgehammer.  His money, influence, and high media profile ensured him a quarter of the votes without having to expend much effort.  When it came time for the other candidates to spend their big attack money, they seemed to focus it on Mitt and Newt Gingrich simultaneously.  As Gingrich took a run through the spotlight at the same time, the attacks seemed to bleed him, while neither hurting nor helping Romney.  In the end, the flood ravaged counties on the dark Eastern banks of the Missouri River were, with no other alternative, more receptive to the candidate who seemed most likely to maintain big government standards.  The destructive floods of 2011 were definitely a tragedy for the ages, and the wounds to Western Iowa's economy left deep scars which will be slow to heal.  The people of these communities are left in the bad position of being completely dependent upon the "mercy" of the Federal Government.  I suppose in that light, Mitt Romney doesn't look like such a bad option.

     Iowa has always leaned more to the Left than other Midwestern counterparts, while maintaining a rigid Evangelical base in the less populated agricultural regions.  Democrats are more likely to win the state in the General Election, but state politics are often likely to produce "moderate" Republicans.  This is the type of state where a man like Romney should clean up in a normal year, and at least be hailed as a "steady moderate" in desperate times such as these.  This is also a state where a Christian Federalist like Santorum can pull solid support in a normal year.  In the era of the Tea Party, that vote should have gone a different direction than Santorum however, particularly when a home grown Tea Party Princess and defender of the cornfields from the Muslim caliphates like Michelle Bachmann was in the race.  This tells us one of three things:  A.  The Tea Party is dead  B.  The Tea Party is torn between fear of  Obama and fear of abortion or C.  The Tea Party never really existed in Iowa.  The next two months should provide a more accurate assessment of the state of the Tea Party and it's impact, agenda, and relevance.

     

     As Ron Paul, the plucky little Texan with the stuttering problem and ubiquitous minions of determined campaign volunteers entered a school auditorium on election day, he encountered a reception generally reserved for someone like Justin Bieber or Hillary Clinton.  Amidst thundering applause, he delivered a message of small government, personal responsibility, adherence to the law, and individual freedom to a group of young voters who would have booed and hissed at G.W. Bush or Rick Santorum, slept through Gingrich or Romney, and, had they been old enough to vote three years ago, chanted and danced to Obama or Hillary.  One third of Ron Paul's election night vote was from Democrats or Independents, many of them youngsters with no responsibility for our crumbling state of affairs but all the culpability for it in the long run.

     Needless to say, the policies of the Bush years and then the outlandish idea of running John McCain for President in 08 led to a mass migration from the Republican Party.  The Tea Party seemed to galvanize those remaining and even bring a few fringers back around for a time, but fear and loathing of many things - Iran, Obama, men marrying dogs - seems to have splintered and marginalized the Tea Party back into a more conventional Republican fold.  The Ron Paul "Reloveution", as it is fondly called by the kids, seems to be EXACTLY what the party needs right now.  A Massachusetts Democrat with a Republican haircut, a knight errant of the Spanish Inquisition who slept with his dead fetus, and a dinosaur from the 90's who was run out of town by his own party due to ethics issues are hardly the answer to reviving Conservatism in mainstream America.  Ron Paul seems to have found the magic so effectively used by the Clintons over the years, yet his own party has turned on him, seemingly for proposing legality amongst those in authority.

     Paul did manage to sneak away with close to a winners share of the votes anyway.  Interestingly, he defeated Romney in many of the urban areas along the Mississippi River, where recent natural disaster was not on voters minds.  He was the heavy favorite of Iowa voters who labled themselves as "true Conservatives" and grabbed a few counties in the middle of the Bible Belt.  He also managed to get his speech aired at the perfect time of the evening when everyone was still watching. 

     In the end, Paul may be bitter about the last minute Santorum surge, but he definitely won a moral victory, established himself as a contender for at least a while longer, and guaranteed himself something at the end of the road.  Due to the very unique nature of Paul's supporters, he holds the power to at least hand the election to Obama, no matter where he finishes.  After all the shots taken at him, I suspect his price for endorsement of another Republican will be very high.  If it was me, I would demand to choose the Vice President, install Ron Paul as the Federal Reserve Chairman, and make someone like Jesse Ventura the Secretary of Defense.  Love it or leave it, Mitt.  What Paul will do remains to be seen, but he is definitely heading to New Hampshire with an enthusiasm I personally have never seen him display.

     The other Texan in the race, Rick Perry, did not fare so well at all.  With only ten percent of the vote, his massive amounts of money and campaign time essentially did nothing but assist in the takedown of Newt Gingrich, and probably the rise of Santorum.  When all was said and done, Perry had dumped upwards of $300 PER VOTE in Iowa, and received nothing in return.  As he gave his speech, he literally looked like someone had just run over his dog.  A sharp dresser and charming stump speaker, with his money and experience he should have captured a bit more of the Santorum vote, even DESPITE his poor and well publicized debate performance.  Again, the so called Tea Party either disbanded or never really existed in Iowa to begin with.  Perry announced he was going home at the end of the night, but the next morning jumped back in, choosing to bypass New Hampshire and head for the more sympathetic Colony of South Carolina where he hopes to find the missing Tea Party and maybe get a few of them to vote for him.  Apparently someone in Texas threw more money on the table and sent him to try his hand in the Deep South.  This seems futile to many observers, and leaves me wondering who, why, and for what purpose?  Time will tell.  I can't say I'm completely unhappy.  His Clark Griswold-like behavior and seemingly endless supply of money spent attacking Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich adds a flavor that no Republican campaign should be without.

     Tea Party Princess Michelle Bachmann, on the other hand, received closer to Five Percent of the vote.  An early favorite, a self proclaimed founder of the Tea Party, a staunch defender of heterosexual marriage, an Iowa native, and a representative of the neighboring state of Minnesota, she should have had a very strong "ground game", a good base of support in the Santorum zone, and somewhat of a home field advantage.  She never received much bad press from mainstream Republicans, and was the winner of the Ames straw poll at the start of the campaign season.  Whether it was her constant miscues, her oversimplification of issues, her false demeanor, or her incessant screaming repetitive words and phrases that turned her off to Iowa voters, she finished dead last among those actively campaigning in the state.  While sounding optimistic Tuesday evening, she effectively dropped out of the race the next morning.  Apparently in her case the pocketbooks all closed.  Unfortunately for us, we won't have Michelle Bachmann to kick around anymore. 

     Newt Gingrich, the crafty veteran playing for the Establishment in this one, did not come out as bad as he could have.  After riding out the wave of public interest which Santorum then hopped on at just the right time, he found himself paddling into the primaries in the second tier of expected vote getters.  Taking much deserved fire from his fellow Republicans while having no "ground game" to speak of, Newt was merely riding on the publicity and recognition he still garners from his time in the spotlight during the 1990's.  Considering that time ended in somewhat of a disgrace, he was probably playing with a double edged sword.  
     Newt's final speech in Iowa revealed an angry, embarrassed Newt that we have not seen in a long  time.  For a consumate show politician who can conjur tears from thin air, the image of a non composed, angry, bitter, revengeful, uncivil Newt Gingrich was a sight that left more than one observer scratching their heads.  Whether calculated bluster to assist his campaign or sway backroom deals or genuine thirst for blood and vengeance, Newt promised America a spectacular battle of attrition against Mitt Romney in the coming days and weeks.   This will probably begin at the infamous New Hampshire debate on Saturday night.  As gripping as this may be, most Americans will be busily drinking, dining, shopping, or watching the New Orleans Saints.  Whatever happens will be revealed to them in packaged sound bites on Monday, complete with expert analysis.

     After a long, arduous Iowa campaign (which was interrupted now and then with spastic periods of controversy and the rise and fall of almost every player in the game) closed out with a photo finish and some possible late night shenanigans, we are left with more questions than answers.  Can Santorum do well in Baptist country?  Will Gingrich sink Romney?  Did the old Revolutionary from Texas hit his high water mark, or start the early stages of a groundswell?  How many states until we don't have Dick Perry to kick around anymore?  Does anyone remember John Huntsman?  One thing we know for certain.  As we enter this fateful year which more than a few predict will end with either chaos and destruction or enlightenment and consciousness expansion, we are truly witnessing the most colorful Republican primary in at least a generation.  As we travel our predestined path towards that fateful Winter Solstice, will we be looking at four more desperate years of rule by Obama,  or will one of these characters pull the sword from the proverbial stone and claim the White House desk for his own feet?

To Be Continued..........